Even if Today, I Know that Tomorrow…

Even if Today, I Know that Tomorrow…

Even if today, it seems everyone and everything has failed us

Turned their backs on us
My surroundings are grey and cold

Everything is heavy

My body is numb

From over drive mode

My Heart is gutted

After that heavenly break was taken from underneath me

Mind is stuck in that zone

After negativity robbed it

And filled it with dread

With fear of the future

Suspicion of everyone’s intentions

The block I built towards trust

Shattered to pieces that

Will take more work, more time

To reconcile

I know that tomorrow,

Maybe the day after tomorrow

I’ll regain that strength, that power

To look future in the eyes

With conviction that you’ll live independently

Look fear at its peak

And weaken it with my

Perseverance

My love for you my son

That one element in my bone

That even if,

After being broken down

Will replenish itself

To reunite me with my unbreakable passion

To pull my will power from the root

And trust both will lead me

To unbelievable heights

To provide you with promise, tangible possibilities

And a fulfilling future

Even if today it seems that autism beat us,

I know that tomorrow life will uplift us again

Family Valentine Picnic & Biking

image

I packed some healthy pb&j and ham sandwiches with grapes, multi-grain crackers, string cheese, carrots, and blue tortilla chips for our picnic.  It was a perfect sunny day in northern cali today.  Boys played in the playground then we had our adventurous bike ride. The trail had a few fun hills.  I was nervous about my Andrew going too fast or crashing into the opposite traffic.  He was so fast and ready to get training wheels off soon.  It’s such a regulating activity for him.

I’m an Autism Mom. Hear me ROAR!!

ROAR Jpg

February 10, 2015 Image
I’m an Autism Mom. Hear me ROAR!!

I’m gonna be down right honest. I am sad and my heart feels so heavy since last night after reading this article on autistic kids’ futures. What struck me most is reading other parents’ comments on how worried they are about their child’s future after they’re gone. This same exact worry along with fear of middle and high school days terrify me to no end! Today was my son’s last speech therapy with a wonderful therapist he’s had for 6 years. I’m feeling overwhelmed trying to find group social skills group and looking for another regulating activity for him as well. Plus I have work, party planning and ambitious valentine projects (which I enjoy because it’s a hobby) to complete in the next day or two. My husband lost his job and will work again in two weeks. My father in law’s cancer is slowly crawling back and fearful of the responsibility of aging sick parents. I’m on overload again after a long break and it sucks!!!!!!!!!

Some Art in Our Lives

With the last heavy posts, I decided to lighten things up a little.  I update this page (Some Art in Our Lives) under Menu.

One of my favorite hobbies is to semi-make artsy craftsy stuff for my boys’ parties.  Birthdays and school holidays are the only times I really make time to get into it.  Our tradition is I buy boys matching themed shirts and deco out depending on the boy’s choice of theme for the year.  I’ve been obsessed with fondant decorative cakes since the 1st Bday Party up to now.  Party planning, as you Mom’s know is stressful but I do really enjoy the making part.  Since I’m not one to make things from scratch, much credit to Pinterest and other sites for the ideas!  Comment below if you want specifics on how I made certain things.

Andrew’s 1st Bday Party: Jungle Forest Theme

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA   OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Anthony’s 2nd Bday Party: Froggie Theme

C's 2nd C's 2nd2 cs2nd4 cs2shirt

Anthony’s 3rd Bday Party: Train Theme

2012 C3rd party2012 C3rd party22012 C3rd party3 2012-03-11_1559CanonPS_890IS

Andrew’s 4th Bday Party: Thomas The Train!

IMG_1475 IMG_1477

Andrew’s 7th Bday Party: Minions!!

2013-10-26_1233 2013-10-26_1237_06 2013-10-26_1638_02  minionshirt minionshirt1  .2013-10-26_1717

Anthony’s 5th Bday Party: Disney’s Where’s My Water?

2014-03-29_183925 dtmw dtmw2 dtmw3  Anthony’s had his name on front and age 5 on the back.

Andrew’s 8th Bday Party: M&M’s Lunch &  Arcade

2014-10-25_123526      2014-10-25_123521        2014-10-25_123456   Bought brown banners and added round multi color stock paper and white letters.  

2015-02-14 2015 Valentines for Class

2015 WP22013 4th of July/Dad’s Bday.  Yes I screwed up on the USA flag colors.  Ooops.

2013 Valentines

2013 VAlentines