As a parent with an autistic child, do you ever find yourself conflicted with how you should feel after you just told someone for the first time about your child? I am much stronger now than I used to be obviously. I’m not as easily hurt or emotional when talking about Andrews autism. But I find different peoples different reactions and responses interesting. I don’t blame other people who are not in my shoes in any way. I suppose I’m just writing this entry because I after 10 years of this journey I still get mixed feelings. Some people respond with “Oh I’m sorry to hear that.” My usual thinking is “Oh but wait his autism isn’t that tragic? Why are you apologizing?” However I get it because most people see it as a devastating thing and they’re just offering their sincere apology. Or most I guess don’t know exactly how to react. Others response will be a straight face no emotions followed by an “Oh” or “Okay” with a pause obviously waiting for me to continue telling them more. I also often find myself thinking inside why aren’t you phased by what I just said? Or do you know what autism is or the level of autism and what it does to your life? But then again I get it too. I understand that some people realize autism isn’t a tragedy so they’re not going to apologize nor show any sympathy. So why do I find myself in these situations wanting them to show me some sympathy. When in fact I know that when a person does apologize I honestly wish they weren’t so sad to apologize about Andrew’s autism. I honestly don’t know which response I like or feel most comfortable with but as I’m writing this I’m thinking maybe the most comforting ones are the people who respond by asking “what is autism exactly?” I think their honesty somehow comforts me in a way where I know they are genuinely have no knowledge and showing interest. Or maybe because this rarely happens where somebody does ask what autism is. Either way I would think after 10 years I would be a little bit unfazed by a people’s reaction but I guess I’m not.
Laughter is the#bestmedicine, says this Autism Mom. A dose of Ellen D helps the anger and anxiety go away. After a few days pissed, anxious & hopeless because of health insurance & school issues I just need a good #laugh! Ellen Degeneres’ instagram photos & videos are so therapeutic.
I love you Ellen D! You crack me up like no other and help me #escape my autism reality. If you ever read this, just know I’m probably one of thousands maybe millions of moms (of special needs kids) out there in the universe who love you passionately! Autism Mom’s stress may not be physically apparent but our lives are pretty much in need of ongoing escapes and help from positive sources.
Despite Andrew’s annual IEP, regional center meeting, insurance speech eval for redetermination of services & reapplying for mediCal all occur in Fall I still really love the beauty of the season.
Disagreeing, advocating, arguing, underrepresented, not understood, one man team, preaching to choir, overly explaining, apologizing, thanking, asking. That’s what autism moms do on ongoing basis with e v e r y o n e. It’s exhausting. It’s alienating. It hurtful. It’s being on a l l t h e t i m e.
(Pic of Andrew’s lil pumpkin he brings everywhere. He dug a hole at the beach for his orange buddy.)
Because ombre nails rock. With the big milestone age (40!) and other life changing events simultaneously occurring, it’s been an eye opener! Us autism moms have a lot to carry, so laughing a lot and finding humor in life, organizing, decorating, exercising and prettying up never hurts. It just makes things easier to handle. Thus…ombre nails.
If the creator of this icon pic sees this, please comment below for credit. I found this on Pinterest and thought to share this. It’s really sad and scary but a shocking reality that us autism moms face.
Below is the article on the study that the University of Wisconsin-Madison completed. Sad to see that the stress in our lives compare to men in combat. However, when a friend of family member just doesn’t “get it” please show them this. I often find myself at loss for words when trying to get close friends and family to understand where I stand. No one ever will unfortunately, except for those who stand in your shoes. However, it would be helpful if people can take a peek into our struggles. This explains the intensity we go through daily. Stay strong mamas!!!
I’ve always been intrigued by the Kennedy family, America’s royal family blessed with fame yet cursed with tragedies. Surrounded by her glorious siblings was Rosemary Kennedy, who had an intellectual disability. Her sister Eunice Kennedy Shriver was the inspiring founder of Special Olympics. She had a huge heart and determination for the special needs population, which back in the 60s were shunned and mistreated. They were either institutionalized or ignored and shamed. Eunice started off inviting special needs kids to her uxurious backyard for camp. Many years later Special Olympics is an international event. I’m so inspired to encourage Andrew to shine in swimming or track and one day be a competitor in this event.
Have you mamas heard the latest and greatest on Nike’s new kicks for special needs community? It’s called the Lebron Soldier 8 Flyease high top shoes with no tie laces and a wrap around zipper. I’m SO excited because just earlier this year my son wore out his zip up boots (Children’s Place brand) which he loved. I wanted to replace them with a casual pair. I clearly remember shopping at the mall on the search. I went into one of the sports stores and asked a young sales boy if they sold no tie laces/velcro high tops. He looked at me like I was crazy, laughed and said nope. But at last they’re here! Drop date is July 16th and limited supply. Crossing my fingers I get a pair and that they’re not super expensive. I tend to go cheaper (no more than $40) for my boys’shoes since they ruin them so quickly. Check out the inspiring story behind the shoe.